A glimpse into why I haven't been writing on my blog so much lately.....
I'm working on a screenplay. That's what I'm good at, screenwriting. Well, any writing. I'm also trying to pull together some kind of creative writing deal for a campus publication someone told me out. Plus I'm doing more reading, trying to get back to my sharp self after quite a while off the reading wagon. But the important part right now is the screenplay.
Growing up, I had very clear ideas on what was or wasn't inappropriate, proper, normal, etc.
My parents are a minister and a children's librarian, both with decent-paying jobs and college degrees. One masters, one phD. My brother is a genius engineer who gets paid way more than any ordinary person should in my opinion, for doing a job that he mostly loves. Then there's me.
I often get asked, "What are you going to do when you graduate?" It's the equivalent of kindergarten's "What do you want to be when you grow up?" deal. The only problem is, in my field, there is no clear answer. I'm a Mass Media student, essentially a student of filmmaking and video journalism. It takes thousands and thousands of people to make movies- why do you think the credits are so long? But honestly, no one goes into the field hoping desperately to be in the fourth minute of the second credits song. You aim to be in the first few- executive producers, directors, actors. No one graduates from film school just dying to be the Key Grip.
Additionally, none of the roles in the media world really hold a specific skill set that you work to achieve specifically. If you want to be a nurse, you study a list of nurse things until they tell you, okay, you know enough, now you can be a nurse. If you want to be a fireman, they teach you the things you need to know to be a fireman until you know everything needed for that job. There are requirements, charts, certifications. Media is much more chaotic. In my field, you learn a list of random skills that, when put together in unpredictable combinations, make jobs.
I'll graduate knowing how to operate multiple kinds of cameras, direct a news show, record a voice actor, make a dark room look like outside at noon with lighting fixtures, and write the sequel script to Serenity. What am I going to do with all of that?
The only honest answer is "I don't know". And I have no shame in that answer.
In kindergarten, they make you pick a goal and work toward it. I want to be a teacher, I want to be a doctor, I want to be a childrens librarian like my mommy when I grow up. They tell you what classes to take, what summer internships to apply for, and essentially how to get a specific job. My teachers tell me, learn as much as you can so that you can apply for or do anything. They are legitimately teaching me how to do whatever I want to do. Opening doors.
So when I get asked what I'm going to do when I graduate, I can proudly say "I don't know." I DON'T KNOW. I don't have the slightest idea what I will wind up doing, but I do know that I will have options. I won't be able to narrow it down. I'll be able to look at lists of jobs and instead of picking the ones I can apply for, I'll have to sort out the ones I CAN'T apply for.
"I don't know" makes me sound like a failure, when the reality is the complete opposite.
Now why did I mention writing a screenplay and then go off on a tangent about my post-graduation plans? Don't worry, they're connected.
My screenplay that I'm writing is about failure. I have four characters, all of whom are labeled as failures at first glance. However, are they really?
One of them is thousands of dollars in debt. FAILURE.
What they didn't tell you is that he's made the decision to choose debt over inability to get a job. He's in college, trying for his masters degree.
One is a TV salesman, almost thirty with no wife, children, or anything.
He happens to be a military veteran who didn't have the chance to keep up with current job market requirements from his post overseas. The fact that he even has a job is a success. Failure, I think not.
One has struggled for years with being bet against by everyone, including his own family. Thrown to the wolves at seventeen, his dreams of veterinary school were crushed by waiting tables just to pay the rent on an apartment he had no reason to be renting. Throw in a little manic depression, and it's a success story that he's even still alive. So sure, call him a failure because he never went to college. Go right ahead, I dare you.
You get the idea.
The problem with our world is that we've been conditioned into compartmentalizing. It is my hope that this screenplay, when I complete it, will take that idea and turn it on its head.
So you may not see me write much- not that I've ever been one of those "multiple times a week" writers anyway. But at least now you know why.
